I don't use this LJ but for pics and such... want to lurk?
go to xladyxloyalty.blogspot.com
xoxo
- News Flash
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ladyofsedition- July 27th, 16:35
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- ladyofsedition
- April 30th, 2008
groggy
so my hubby and i are staying in utah. soon we will be moving to orem. Man i love him so much. living together is amazing as well. I am so happy. I work as a cook, and im starting to bake more. professionally too! its fun. Im learning a lot. I only work a few days a week right now.. we aren't too busy atm *at the moment*. Im still a computer nerd! I play WoW all the time. :D
Alex and I will play side by side! we are such dorks. I miss having girlfriends to hang out with but I don't miss the drama. It's so peaceful.
I started thinking about my past.. past friendships and relationships. I have grown so much. I wish I could change some things though. Like how I handled situations and stuff. All I can do is wish for those who I have wronged happiness and for those who have wronged me to learn from their mistakes.
ps
yay for ikea <3
- decisions
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- ladyofsedition
- January 19th, 2008
blah
to move back to vegas or not to?
I honestly don't know what to do. Alex says we can move anywhere. If he gets the job in NY, we will be moving out there. My family is in vegas and that really means so much that he would even consider it. I just have so many negative thoughts in vegas and I don't know if I have the energy to start fresh again. I think about Salt Lake though and it has the same feel to it. I don't belong in either city. People are far to fake, judgemental and immature. Some people even said goodbye to friendship because of who I am dating. I always think to myself, why should it matter? I befriend those who give me respect. I have no reason to wrong others, yet others always try and think I am out to 'get them'. It's a lose-lose situation. I just with people would grow up. I am far to old to deal with yesterdays bullshit.
xoxo
- Held Hostage!
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- ladyofsedition
- December 30th, 2007
accomplished
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Don’t point your finger like I’m the fake, You let me in this room that was your first mistake. You’ve got nothing. Its okay I was there once so don’t point the finger like I’m the fake you let us in and that was your last mistake.
I started reading a book awhile ago. It was one of those impulse buys in Borders or Barnes and Nobles. I started reading it and I have never felt so revealed nor have I felt so relieved in my life. "..this man is a terrifying, unpredictable brute who can rule me by force, and that I have no choice but to obey.." Men have mainly been a negative aspect in my life. Never once a positive portion in my existence. They have caused heartache, turmoil, anger, and misery. "You see the pattern here? I have written about my dad so often in my life that the process is almost as normal as breathing for me. Some readers have said, 'But he loved you. He bought you cars. He gave you [everything].' It's true. My father provided for us. But he was not a pleasantly grumpy, lovable curmudgeon. Presumably, those readers who find my father sympathetic don't understand what it's like to live an entire life built on a foundation of constant anxiety, brought on by the close proximity of a human time bomb. you never know when he might explode next." This book as answered a bundle of questions on why I act the way I do. It has made me step outside of the box and understand myself on a completely different level.
I have found a man who understands me, who respects me and who loves me for even my flaws. I have become a better person because he was there to help me. I have become a stronger person because he wasnt there to let me down. I have finally understood what love truly is and that men are not all beasts. Not all men are out to decieve, cheat, munipulate, control, beat and damage ones soul.
I have wondered for so long what others thought of me. I can never make 'real' friends. Because of a geographical location? Because of my certain friendships? Petty, immature, and completely irrelevant issues that cloud others judgements of me. My past, from childhood until well over a year ago, has destroyed me. Finding the answers to so many unanswered questions has made me realize who I am. I finally know who I am and what I want in life. I am ready.. I am more ready than I have ever been. <3 <3 <3
- perfection
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- ladyofsedition
- December 20th, 2007
awake
being so far away from people seems to be the best for me. No negativity! No drama! Seems pretty amazing! Alex and I are completely happy. I love my ring!! My family loves him. I have never been so in love in my life. I took a break from my job. Long horrible story. Sometimes I can't take emotional jobs. From dealing with a mother who beat her four year old son to death to losing people you see everyday. It was hard and sometimes I think twice about my decision, but I am happy.
I have become a gamer girl to say the least ;x
Nerd, I know, but man o man World of Warcraft is addicting. Alex and I both play every night! it's cute! <3
Salt lake is amazing this time of year. I haven't ran into anyone lately though.. I honestly don't care about anyone in my past except for the few that try and stay in contact (megan and joyce). Those two girls are the girls whom I would seriously risk my life for. They both have shown me so much of myself, I don't think they realize it. I do feel alone sometimes because I have no girlfriends, but honestly... with some girls comes gossip.. and im older and I don't need it. I have changed so much that most you people lurking about wouldn't understand nor believe. People do grow and mature. People do find themselves and learn from mistakes. My life has changed so much since I moved from Vegas a year ago. Good things and bad.
My dad recently befriended Elton John in afghan. My mom can't stop freaking out the fact that the guy who sings Tiny Dancer called her twice! wow.. insane. Apparently he told me mother that he wants her and my dad to come to London. I love my family. And I love my new family to come ;) no im not pregnant.................
- truth stands the test of time but lies are soon exposed.
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- ladyofsedition
- August 29th, 2006
creative
